The Proper English Foundation

Recent–ish up–dates...

The charge of the Anti Brigade!

The brigade that is destroying the language by watering it down!

INTRODUCTION

We compete with the Queen’s English Society for your attention, and for control of the language.

ACADÉMIE VON ANGLAIS Our body of experts will save English from its own speakers such as you.

SIGN OUR PETITION or join us!

To blog or not to blog?

Our B.L.O.G. tackles all the linguistic issues. Firstly: “Is blog a verb?” Secondly: “What is a blog?”

This web–site is officially English (i.e. from England), which means I invented the language and therefore own it!

(Proof)

WORD ABUSE

Helpful advice to brow-beat your vocabulary into submission.

INCLUDING THE ARTICLES “Don’t say disinterested! Unless you actually mean disinterested”; why check it out is wrong and we should chuck it out; why Political Correctness is discouraging me from exercising my right to be horrible to people; why you can’t say gay anymore (I order you not to), and Let’s have a curb on wimyn’s rights.

KNOW YOUR ENEMIES!

People who have made slight grammatical errors and must be imprisoned.

TOP ENEMIES: Geoffrey Chaucer, William Shakespeare, East Lothian Railway Company, A Man on a Train, the Royal Family, the Queen’s English Society, Simon Heffer, Laura Clark, and All Technology.

LANGUAGE HEROES!

Persons who lecture others to display their superior knowledge of English.

(not superior to ours)

WORST ARTICLES: Don McLean & cover songs; quoting George Orwell must make my bigoted argument correct; quoting Lynne Truss must make me as successful as her, yes, her; Strunk and White make up the rules as they go along

Not a very large area, as far as I can tell! But in order fully to patronise the inferior dialects of our colonies across the waves, we have included pages on American, Australio-Kiwi, Canadian and Scotch.

My only fear is that these articles aren’t patronising enough; please E-mail us any improvements you can make.

SILLY FOREIGNERS

Not just silly, but also dangerous! For if your mother tongue is Foreign, how can you warn me that your English is substandard and that you’re not worth talking to? You can’t!

Plus a couple of amusing false friends in French, German, Spanish and Welsh.

SPECIAL REPORT:

HOW LANGUAGES EVOLVE

A shocking study that will shock you in your tracks!

LINKS PAGE

A shocking list that will shock you! If you’re easily-shocked.

SEARCH THE P.E.F.

The most frequently-used words on this website are

1: GAY (archaic meaning)
2: SEX (archaic meaning)
3: SHOCK (feigned meaning)

4: YOB (meaning everyone)
5: SEX (modern meaning).

The internet traffic is a bit weird.

Many images are in the public domain [pd] or Creative Commons [CC]. These will be credited as such on the corresponding pages, except:

reading jester [pd]