Since the internet has not yet reached Canada, they won’t mind if we dedicate an entire page to their language without actually mentioning the language(s!) at all.   Canada was invaded by Britons driving huskies sometime after the 15th century, and has remained so ever since, with the Queen as their president (God, I love the Queen!) and America situated to the south, making Canadians look restrained and comprehensible in comparison.

Their language is an odd mish-mash.   There is nothing wrong with calling it that, unless you believe (as we do) that British English is not an odd mish-mash.   British English occurred naturally and is not odd in any way – it is a perfectly natural orgy of Druids, Romans, Vikings, Vandals, Angles, Saxons and Norman sons of tanners, all mixing their tongues up, not odd at all.   Likewise American English, despite its German, Dutch and Yiddish influences.  It is spoken on television and is therefore not odd.   The same goes for all standardised languages: all of them have formed entirely normally, and none deserves to be singled-out as an “odd mish-mash”.

But Canadian is a weird and bewildering language!   It uses or rejects British and American words as it sees fit, which is a terrible way to behave.   We could call it a pigeon language (“pidgin” is a mis-spelling, possibly a Canadian one).
No, that is a cruel way to describe it: Canadian is a creole, just like
– Jamaican patois
– Trinidadian and Toboggan [1]
– Singlish (in Singapore)
– and the infamous Manglish (of Malaysia), in which they call a “day off” an “off day”!
That emitted a titter from me, I must say.   “Day off” is a stupid phrase!  What are you “off”?  Can you climb back “onto” it, as though it were a horse?  In this light, “off day” is fine and perfectly acceptable.

Furthermore, Canadian has no standard spelling system, so the people have nothing to say of any interest.   Speaking of which, this page is almost at a close; but it could have been worse.

Next foreign tongue: Scotch >

See also
Canadian English, Dane Jurcic
– Why can’t Singaporeans speak good Singlish?


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