Know Your Enemy: PULP FICTION


by the PEF Film Council

We rented this film in the belief that it was a denouncement of modern literature, written by the English-Italian philosopher Quentin Taràntini, a man worthy of the name Quentin.

As it, however, turns out, it is nothing of the sort and that it is a shockingly twisted film full of criminal language!     Take this, for example, passage, when two characters are berobbing a bakery:
“Any of you f***ing pricks move, and I’ll execute every m***er-f***ing last one of you!”

What an awful thing to shout!    The correct way, of course, would have been:
If any of you f***ing pricks moves, I shall execute every MF’ing last one of you!”

Or, better yet,
“If any of you f***ing pricks were to move, I should like to execute...” et cetera,
because “any person” or “anyone” must be followed with the singular, “moves” – even if one is addressing an whole crowd of conditional “pricks” (plural)!

But we’re getting side-tracked by grammar.    The real scandal here is the Americanisms.    Pulp Fiction appears to be a US production and yet, despite our lobbying, does not use the Southern Standard English language of England, as we recently decreed!    (see “PEF Decree No. 452: American Film Directors Must Speak A Language Everyone Can Understand”)

Well, what more would one expect of Americans, who are well-known deviants.     The worst excess of this film is that the English actor Tim Roth who features in the film speaks not the Queen’s English as you or I but a language full of ghastly Americanisms and ugly phrases which sounds ridiculous!    As well as, “liquor stores” (correct form: “off-licenses”), his character boasts about how he has berobbed “gas stations” (i.e. “petrol pumps”) and caught the staff “with their pants down” (trousers!     Yawn.).

Roth’s refusal to translate his script into English at the last minute is highly depressing and will not be tolerated by the Proper English Foundation.    After the revolution we shall employ Script Changers to assist on all Hollywood motion pictures to stop directors from getting carried away with the use of inelegant American English – we may have to re-write the entire story, page-by-page!    We also shall limit how much the images themselves move, as too much movement in films can be very distressing for viewers in this hectic world where images are constantly too bright, and ever louder.

Many of these justified complaints are exemplified by Pulp Fiction.    You can watch the clip by clicking here.    But you shouldn’t!

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