Know Your Enemy: THE ROYAL FAMILY


Now, before you all start demanding that I be put in the Tower, let me explain myself: I adore the Royal Family and would love to serve their interests. This is a language website.
Sadly, when I started this harmless website based on imprisoning those who do not speak “the Queen’s English”, I didn’t count on the royals breaking one of The fundamental Rules of their own language.

The Queen’s English Society rightly (in a right-wing way) argued that job titles must always take the male form – e.g. “National Association of Policemen”, I need to see a man doctor”, etc. If it is necessary to employ a woman for the task, she is a doctress, which is perfectly good 19th-century English. Never call her a doctor, which is a piecemeal intersex word and will give her the impression that she is a man and equally capable!    And, with a really twisted imagination and stupidity, we can use our sexism to predict the downfall of society:
“Shall we stop referring to our Queen by that title and to her ancestors and heirs as Kings? Would ‘God save the Monarch’ not leave us all the poorer? What about Prince Charles and Princess Anne? Must Anne become Prince Anne?” [1]
Of course, we’re all poorer than the monarch, but this fact is unchangeable – and as the QES academy said, the genders of our Royals must also never be changed by unelected Germans from Brussels. (The QES were disparaging the European Union, of course.)
That’s why I am so disturbed that Royal marriage rules forced Baroness Marie Christine von Reibnitz to change her name to
Princess Michael of Kent!

I mean, she could’ve at least called herself Ms for clarity’s sake. This royal sex scandal proves that the Queen’s English – literally the Queen’s English – is illogical, inaccurate and inadequate and should be replaced.

We could write seven pages about this, but thankfully the Royals are above criticism. The ones we really hate are the EU and wimyn, and we shall move with the times (and the Telegraph) to attack these targets at every opportunity. I mean, their English.

Next enemy: Schoolteachers >
They’re not the only enemies

See also
The newspaper, where we get all of our enemies from
Predictable correctness
– History of the King’s/Queen’s English
















 
 This page is APPROVED by Queen John of Konnfuzion
 

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