Word Abuse: WOMYN


WOMYN (and its plural form, WIMYN) is a new-fangled fad word invented by radical feminists intent on eradicating the word “woman” and thereby getting rid of men forever by assuming an equal place in society.
But let us first explain who the radical feminists are.    You are a radical feminist if you fail to pronounce woman correctly:

We can all say MAN and MEN (phonetically: ['mæ:n] and ['men])
therefore, the female equivalents must be pronounced with the stress on that second syllable! :
w’MAN  ([wə'mæ:n]),  and  w’MEN  ([wə'men])

This is the correct pronunciation!    Of course, years of feminist propaganda have probably led to youngsters under 60 being unfamiliar with this rule but it is the correct way.    Woman is a cognate of man, as should be obvious.    It is simple Genetics: all foetuses start life as males and half of them become females before birth.   Anyone who does not know this is a fool.

We at the Proper English Foundation rarely sit in judgement on questions of pronunciation (as do not the Queen’s English Society) unless they really annoy us, as does this.   So, it being established that the words “woman/women” have an etymology that is subservient to that of the words “man/men”, we shall now move on to this infamous new spelling.

Womyn
Rather than accepting our explanation, a small group of radical feminists like you became so fed-up with our sensible arguments that they suggested “womyn” as an alternative spelling for “woman”.    This is a clear attempt to use language to force one’s political views onto others, something we would never do.   We’re not sexist and xenophobic, but this was clearly the work of mad women from the degenerate American race, who are unable to control their wimyn.

But why must they take the “man” out of “woman”?   In Old English the word was wif or quean – words still recognisable today in Scots, as wifey (woman) and quine (girl).   Their etymological history is fascinating. So why not use one of these good old words instead?

I’ll tell you why not: because I’m not having any dissent or archaisms under my roof!   LADY is also not an acceptable alternative.   It would have been if you hadn’t begun your belligerence, but this door is now sadly closed.

Misters and Mses
I’m aware that we must be careful not to inadvertently show why sexism might drive women to want a new word, as the Queen’s English Society did with their article on the title “Ms”:
“This linguistic misfit came about because certain – note: certain, not all – women suddenly became sensitive about revealing their marital status.  Or perhaps they were annoyed that they could not identify a man as married or single by his title.  We won’t begrudge these women their complexes but surely there is a better solution to their problem than an unpronounceable buzz!” [1][2]
If they had done a small amount of research into the word’s origin (as Ben Zimmer did), they would have learned that the above quote is bolloxzz.    The QES also suggested that marriage was declining (Outrageous!), that boys should be named “Master” (Rubbish! What if his surname is Bates?), and that we should follow French usage, which is probably what got us into this situation in the first place.

They also object to the word “gender”, which was invented by the [sic]
“womens’-lib movement in the USA”.[3][4]  You should say 
“sex”.  Gender is only used by “deluded women”, anthropologists, and normal people who know that “sex” also means something other than “gender” these days.    DH Lawrence used “sex” to mean “sexual i****course” as long ago as 1929, and the idea of male and female genders began to become synonymous with the sexes in the 1970s.   Or, as the QES decide to believe,

“this linguistic aberration has, over the past 20 years or so, taken a stranglehold on an English-speaking public whose ‘linguistic immune system’ is extremely weak and all too easily infected.  The misuse of the word ‘gender’ has become so widespread that it must regrettably be admitted that it is probably beyond cure by now and here to stay.” [3][4]

They then wrote three pages to try and cure this uncurable disease of “word change”, by showing that words never develop amusing secondary meanings.

“Never has the stallion been differentiated from the mare on the grounds of gender, nor the dog from the bitch.  Likewise, the hen differs from the cock and the queen bee from the drone in its sex, never its gender.” [5][6]
Disgusting!

So, as a concession to stupid free-thinking wimyn everywhere, we will henceforth be using this word, womyn, ourselves – just to show how weird and normal it does not look in everyday prose.   This makes WOMAN an spelling error, and, like a tonne of bricks, we will come down on anybody caught still using that outdated word.    But only because we’re against wimyn.

 

This Foundation will not negotiate with suffragettes!
[pd]

 

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